Zoomies and Doomies and Gloomies, Oh My!

What is one of the most annoying things our neurodivergent brains deal with constantly?

Procrastination.

Why do we do this to ourselves? 😬 

We understand the consequences of putting things off but find ourselves in the same spot over and over again.

I am here to link it back to three reasons: the zoomies, doomies, and gloomies.

(Things always sound less scary when they rhyme) 😅 

Let's break these down so they make more sense.

The Zoomies 🏎️ 

As neurodivergent folks with interest-based nervous systems, we tend to avoid tasks or responsibilities that make us uncomfortable, from lack of knowledge and understanding to just plain ickiness when thinking about getting it done. We find ourselves "buzzing" around, finding other tasks at random to work on, bouncing from one room to the next, and fueling our task completion with dopamine. But, as we are working, we have that sinking feeling in our minds, knowing that we should focus our efforts and energy towards that "big scary thing" instead of the miles-long to-do list of randomness. This avoidant behavior tricks us into thinking we are productive but leaves us unfulfilled as the real important stuff remains. Hyperactivity, impulsivity, and anxiety rolled into a ball of energy. Sounds fun! (not) It doesn't relieve us of the "big scary thing" but only pushes that boulder further down our path. You'll eventually come across it again, but with much less energy and motivation than you currently have.

How to stop the Zoomies

Prioritization and the Sandwich Method.

Remember when I explained how task paralysis freezes us up, not knowing how to start? Prioritization also helps with the anxious energy surrounding our "big scary thing." We may not be stuck, but we are conditioning ourselves to avoidant behaviors by engaging in the zoomies. We counteract that with a "rewards first" approach in the Sandwich Method. 

Picture this: gloriously buttered slices of toast with the cheesiest blend of white cheddar, yellow cheddar, and American cheese. Slap that thing on the stove! The sizzle sounds awesome, right? Think of a task that gives you some dopamine, like walking the dog, decorating your planner, or finishing your coffee. These are easy ways to feel good and accomplished. These are the slices of toast. You start tackling the "big scary thing" with an easy task to begin and an easy task to finish. Sandwich the hard stuff right in between.

The Doomies 😰 

This is the dread, the feelings of overwhelm, the paralysis. The doomies are the lies that keep us from progressing on the "big scary thing." This is our negative self-talk saying things like "What if I can't do this?" or "What if it all goes wrong?" The doomies include self-sabotaging behavior and setting ourselves up for failure right at the start. What do we do when the doomies hit? Our bodies tense up; we sweat, get anxious, and have shortness of breath. The impending doom of a project overwhelms our nervous system, putting us in that fight or flight. We feel unsafe with the prospect of the "big scary thing," making it nearly impossible to get it started, let alone finished in an acceptable state.

How to stop the Doomies

Focus on the present, not the future.

The "what if" cycles can doom us to death if we aren't careful! By using tools like affirmations, mindfulness, and journaling, we can remain focused on what matters most: the actions we take TODAY to work on a particular project. What is something easily achievable that you can accomplish to make your work the following day much easier? Start with that.

The Gloomies 😢 

The gloomies are the doldrums, the numbness, and the darkness that clouds our brains and senses. It keeps us in a state of sadness and depression, failing to motivate any action to accomplish the "big scary thing," let alone anything remotely close to it. It surrounds us like a suit of armor, too heavy to move but "protecting" us from the fear of not being good enough for others. The gloomies describe what ADHDers know as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria or RSD. RSD is almost a visceral sadness that hurts our minds and spirits so much that we can almost feel that pain physically. We cry, hide, and isolate. The gloomies feed procrastination through the absence of belief that we have the ability to accomplish a task; the feelings of "well, I'm not good enough anyway, so why even try."

How to stop the Gloomies

Regular reflections and one-second parties.

The gloomies can be the most difficult of these three to escape because the RSD can rob us of our self-esteem. Taking regular opportunities to reflect on your progress, thinking back to where you started, and seeing how much you've accomplished up until that point can be good reminders that you are fully capable and worthy of praise. One-second parties are something I made up about four years ago that allows my piano students to celebrate the smallest wins at the piano. I have since transformed this into something I believe EVERYONE should get in the habit of doing. Nothing is too small to celebrate. Did you brush your teeth this morning? Do a little dance. Did you send off a scary email? Shake your booty. Did you work up the courage to stand up for yourself at work? YAAAAS! These miniature moments of joy can be the best mood boosters when you're in the grip of the gloomies, clearing the way to getting things done.

I hope this newsletter was helpful for you this week! I am hosting a free webinar on procrastination on May 6, 2023! Following today's framework, we will learn new strategies to help work through procrastination. RSVP below to guarantee your spot! Limited tickets are available, so register today! The recording will be available for all registrants, so you have nothing to lose!

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Warmly,

Izzie

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